Leaving our ego at the door
Living in Pune I met Jwala who studied Yoga under B. K. S. Iyengar (father of Iyengar Yoga). She once told me about the day she arrived at his studio, fresh from Europe, with her new designer sandals. Not wanting to leave them on the dirty step with the other flip flops at the door, she walked into Iyengar’s office sandals in hand. Iyengar barely looked up before asking her to “please go and leave your ego at the door”. Leaving my ego at the door is a constant focus for me in my yoga practice but also in my art.
Two months ago I wrote a blog post about the biggest mistakes artists make in which I mentioned ‘When we’re not really following our passion’ as the first mistake, and I asked, ‘if no one would ever see anything we make, what would we be making then?’
Leaving our own ego together with all others’ opinions at the door is a noble idea, but in all honesty much easier said than done. Today in the social media cup and the flow of instant gratification with likes, follows and comments, who can really be immune to sipping up other people’s opinions? Abstract artist Louise Fletcher wrote “If we are seeking approval from others, we're constantly on the back foot - always in danger of losing our balance because of an unkind word” But as she also mentioned, it often does not even take an unkind word but simply the lack of feedback. Many of us have posted something on social media with no response leaving a void for self-doubts to fill.
Or have you had the opposite problem? I recently posted a mixed media piece (titled Alex II) on Instagram and the Instagram algorithm-god smiled up upon me and gave me 700+ likes. I am grateful as this is the start of a new series, but how I do I really discern if this series is still coming from my core or gets fueled along by my ego? I’m sure even those of us that are not artists, will identify with that rush of social recognition of an image or a post.
My friend Cor Bosman said that others’ opinions of us are none of our business. I believe this to be true regardless of whether it’s positive or negative. I think of all the great artists I admire and the uphill battle they faced to speak their truth. Duchamp was seen as an exotic radical and rejected the establishment. Going further back, even the Impressionists were considered radicals in their time as they teared down the tradition of idealized images.
The need to belong is in our human DNA but should it really take center stage? Perhaps we should take a step back and prioritize what we think of ourselves and/or our work above what others do. May we not exhaust ourselves trying to be good/hard-working/successful enough to be valued. In her book ‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ Brené Brown writes: ‘Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve?’ Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’”
In my journey of leaving my ego at the door I wish to;
*Let go of perfection - it is sometimes right there in that imperfection where the real beauty lies.
*Cultivate authenticity and surround myself with a tribe who does the same.
*Allow myself to be vulnerable and take risks as it sets us free and facilitates growth. When we allow ourselves to fail, we often grow the most.
*Allow myself occasionally to take a step back, breathe and reevaluate what I’m doing and if it is still parallel to my core. Take a break from social media and allow myself just to follow my curiosity and play.